No one said War. No one said Argument. No one said who wanted to leave. No one said anything ! This is how tired and irritated i am. (i think K would be telling me to relax and heck care).but seriously, I FUCKING FEEL SUPER MISUNDERSTOOD. i've been trying my best to tolerate everything. your comments and talking behind my back to others. I'VE HAD IT. No one took sides. THERE WASNT A SIDE TO BEGIN WITH ! YOU DRAW THE FUCKING LINE AND SAID " IT'S EITHER YEESUAN'S 'SIDE' OR MY 'SIDE' ". YOU KNOW HOW PATHETIC THAT IS ? you want friends to take your side. I tried my best to think of how you feel, think of how you'll be and i tried to help you. FOR YOUR FUCKING SAKE, I GAVE UP MY FRIENDSHIP WITH D. I've always put you before me. Especially this D, You and me incident. F.Y.I, I WAS REALLY REALLY PISSED DURING THE WHOLE KOTA TINGGI CAMP THANKS TO YOUR CHILDISH NONSENSE. seriously, you can just take a microphone and tell the whole world and say bad things about me. dont have to sit beside me and talk so loudly.I TOLERATED. I TOLD MYSELF" FORGET IT. YOU'RE A CLOSE FRIEND. I DONT WANT TO LOSE YOU." I think i must have been dumb to think so man. You? i rather give up our friendship if ive known you're this kind of person. actually, i predicted things would turn out this way. but the words you're using, you pulling more and more people into this, IS PISSING ME OFF FUCKER. I WAS HAPPILY FITTING TO MY LIFE, THEN BOOM ! this rubbish. Push everyone away from you okay. for a guy/guys, GO AHEAD AND PUSH EVERYONE AWAY. PISS EVERYONE OFF.

One day if something ever bad happen, you can only cry on your own shoulder. no one would bother you. This time, im through with things. this is seriously, childish nonsense. &yes, I'VE NEVER KNOWN YOU. what an asshole/motherfucker/dickhead/shitface/fucktard.

(THIS IS HOW PISSED I AM. )

Sometimes, all you can do is just go along with whatever comes.

It doesnt mean you're weak. but it just means that you dont want any more trouble. For a few more weeks. just a few more weeks. go along with whatever comes. just play along for everything now. after one month, you can just stop going with the flow. for just one month, think about your future and only your future. one month. it's not that much to ask.

You cant change the things thats going to happen if we dont want to.

It doesnt mean you're great or stronger than the other. it just means that you dont have the courage to admit your mistakes to each other. one more month, admit all your screwed up mistakes for this one month& dont live a life for this one month. just do this, for yourself.

I think no one really reads the livejournal.
so here's all the gibberish things i have to say (:

guess no one reads this dead livejournal anymore.
ohwells ! there's no point anyway.

Got a dandelion poem for O level music.
The thing rings a bell, but cant seem to remember it. or maybe, i dont even want to remember.
ohwell, shouldnt bother myself. really really really,shouldnt.
sometimes when you try being genuine, you get something really blah in return.
Really naive and stupid. tsk!

You used to call _________ a bitch. do you know ? you're a fucking bitch too (:
(I hope you can try waking up)

somehow, ive the skills.
somehow, im able to do things faster and better now.
somehow, im able to finish all that.
but somehow, im not at my fullest.
what the heck is this man.

you know nothing about me.
about how i feel.
about what i want.
about what i need.

Nothing.At.All.

I love the excos (:
I love the sec4s (:
Though sometimes we scream and yell and get angry with each other over funny things, i love you guys. im so proud to be in the same batch with you guys and im so happy to have met people like you.You guys are really, one in a million.

Feels odd now, doing all these activities.
Used to do them, but now doing it again. makes you feel a little stiff with it and blah.
Man, it's like when you're doing it again after so long
&when you do it , makes you look damn weird.
hahahaha, im weird (:

Hahahahaha ! something happened last night, right E?
I think it's super dumb.
"sue the tape company till their pants drop uh!"
stupiddddddd. :D :D :D :D :D

Everything feels the same. school, friends, family, school, friends, studies, studies, tuition.
Im talking nonsense again . O.O

To _____:
You need not know what did i hear or what do i know. You were already so persistent with whatever you were thinking again. you never considered anything that's going to happen. you just thought of yourself. i had so many things to say, but i didnt.i didnt want to be like this, like one of them. i didnt want to be like _____. I knew that i was a small pebble for you to step on.You'll deny, but it's true. You wanted to create new memories to replace or forget the rest.

To ______:
I thought you were different. because somehow, i was wrong. I guess, it was because there were some things that were not properly sorted out previously. maybe, i came back just to sort things out properly. for myself, to see that there's nothing. that nothing's changed &will ever change. It opened my eyes to my family, friends and studies.This time, i didnt let myself crash and burn. Im happy i did so. When my world was mad, when no one was there. the only person that really really really talk me through every minute of it, was E. Yeah, you were caught up. yeahhhh,&I wasnt. raaaaaaaabisssh.


E! (:
i think you're gonna be happy when i tell you something (:
"doesnt mean someone is lonely and that makes you a jerk or what. it's solely because of the choice the person made which make him or her lonely and not because you left. "

Game Over(Acoustic).mp3 - Steve Rushton

I think E is super funny at times like this (:
"You're not a stone, you're a rock lah".
Stupid dingdong. hah !

miraculously, im laughing and smiling at myself.
When i look at that paper, i started smiling and laughing once again.
Really amusing, indeed.

Okay, i have to own chinese Os. if not, i think im gonna get whack upside down by chen laoshi.
rahhhhhhhhs !

&M: you want to fisherman friend ? (:

Never complete with someone of the same level.
Always complete with someone of the best level.
Strive to be the best.

I wanna be the best.
Midyears= sad.
Prelims.. &the big Os.
I must strive to be the best.
Get 5As. Jiayous . YeeSuan you can .
Chinese, Get your B.

It was disappointing . very. very. very. very.
with your score, where do you think you can go ?
Nowhere.
NUS Faculty of science ? It's a long journey.

Friday was fun (: dumb fun :D
Hahahahaha, BMW (;
Watched Moulin rouge yesterday.
&&I watched that korean version of Hana Yori Dango (;
Mannnnnnn, the lead's cute!
but Rui was.. disappointing \:

Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese Chinese

Okay, E said Chinese is important and im a chinese.
So must learn. okay, shall try.
blahhhhhhh, im nonsense.

oh, i wanna bake. anyone ? :D
Oreo Cheesecake,Cookies,More cookies :D

Be My Escape (Acoustic) - Relient K

blur, blur, blur. everything's in a blur right now.

E's trying to tell me that chinese is very important.
hahahaah ! E, try harder & jiayous ? (;

&redrain's in singapore.
&IM AT HOME NOW !!
What a loser man.. Urghhh Chinese Os.
IT'S REDRAINNNNNNNNN ! O;

Im afraid of looking at dark corners now.
Cause im afraid there's a bomb there or i'll get scalded =,= {Dumb}

&it's really a waste.
Some cool guy, die in the end. WORST: go&burn himself. now his cool face disfigured .
))))))))))):

hahahaha, im full of crap (:
Blog tomorrow or sunday uh.
I realised tomorrow is almost like mad-lessons-after-lesson-and-study-after-study day.
Man, Chineseeeeeeeeeeee.

Disappointed, very. for chinese.
Needa practice more. tsk tsk !
Mock exam tomorrow. *sigh*
hope i wont screw mock exam for chinese

CHINESE O IS IN LESS THAN 14DAYS ! ):
I really dont like this Chinese Os \:

B please B please B please B please B please B please.
Im working hard for my B man. ):

Okayyyyy, chinese practice papers are calling me. \:

Life in Technicolor ii (Live @ the O2 London) - Coldplay - 2009

NPCC makeup parade tomorrow, 7.30am report.
&I thought i could sleep longer for once during a thursday. *pouts*

Results tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow. tomorrow.
im mad. &dumb blur right now. Rahhhhh!
wo feng le, dui bu dui E? |:

Stranger - Hilary Duff

2 weeks before chinese Os.
Damn, this is fast.

I should start speaking chinese more often now.
so i wont look like an idiot again during chinese oral. -,-
the recent one was disastrous! ):

I think i should talk to E in chinese now.
"Ni hao ma?"
hahahaha ! &correct, H1N1 virus cant be transmitted by eating pork.
:D

&Siying, we should try going haji lane to shop! :D
Wednesday is career stuffs, thursday they'll release results.
thats bad, bio's first if they're following timetable.
Shit. keeping my fingers crossed for both maths and science plus both languages.

&npcc day on thursday. &Ive to say the message.
Longgggggggg message . ohwells !
I guess piano on wednesday too.
A&D on friday & Hopefully, Airport on saturday/ sunday? (:
am actually thinking, when will dearest be free once again. hope his holidays starts sometime soon.
though i seriously doubt so . hah !

I smile at the memories and sometimes, i laugh about it.everything just fell into place then.it amazes me and i really miss those times.but everything has it's own part in life. i dont know how the future will be and yes, i have a lot of uncertainties about quite a lot of things.but what im certain is, the memories were simply sweet and filled with love.

I love my dearest dodos, i love that bimbotic siying, i love the excos, i love D, i love E and i love those memories .(:

So Yesterday (Hilary Duff Cover) - Amber Pacific

&I just know that even after all that has happened so far, my mind is filled with you and the memories.

hoooo, im still up.
im trying to be high or at least normal now.

but the fact is, my brain is filled with air now and i dont want to think of any shit.
the beach worked for a while. now, im back with a brain filled with air -,-
Well done .

Im gonna see ms lee for sure this time.
'YeeSuan, what happened? why did you fail so many subjects this time? you were quite fine or average previously. what happened ?'
so expected. failing 4subs or more. feeling dumb and wasted.
shit.

E, it only hurts more when you try chasing it more and more.
&I cant believe, how stupid it was.
Seriously, I THINK IM BORN RETARDED .

mannnn, i think im gonna be some good girl and stay home tomorrow.
watch movie, do SCI stuffs, slack, sleep and all.
Yeah, i should save money for my 'laogong'. RECESSION LAH !
Right , C? :D hahahaha !
*inside joke*

okay, my 13hours of sleep starts in 5mins time.
*FINALLY*
OHHHHHHH, CHRIS PINE IS UBER UBER UBER UBER UBER UBER UBER HAWTTTTT !
*multiply* 987264836381 times man !
&I cant believe, im reading books now. hahaha !

Argh, this post is the hardest to ever write, somehow. it's like, you keep typing and typing. then the next time you know, you went to click 'select all' followed by clicking that stupid and pathetic ' delete ' button. this is retarded. pfffft !

okay, ignore what i previously said. it just doesnt make sense.

Gonna study out later.
With Dearest and dingdong :D
Maybe should ask shiqi along. *hmmmmms*
last paper& beach tomorrow. yes yes yes !
i really need to think about things tomorrow.

E, i still havent found whatever it was. sucker man !

&man, i'll live. this is what im completely sure of now.
I wont be who i was back then.
I wont risk anything for it.
Nah, i hate that price anyway.
Oh, ________ i freaking manage to take you off & FOR ONCE be a normal person.

Thanks Eeeeverything (:
I look forward to everyday now. i dont know why, it's just a new and fresh kind of feeling.
blahhhhh, that was completely random. :D

&Siying, here's a list of things we can do after chinese Os:
1. BBQ at a chalet
2. BONTANIC GARDEN!!
3. mad mad mad, shopping spree :D :D :D :D
4. Hort park (:
5. we really need to go town (;

&&i really love hilarious dates with Dodos (:
SUPERRRRRRR AWESOME ! &im always damn noisy with dodos :D

Byeeeeeee world !

One of the Boys - Katy Perry

hahahahahah, Music paper was really funny :D
First time i anyhow whack lah. X:
hahahah ! daddy's fascinated when i told him about indian music.
Surprisingly , all those indian chinese kompang and gamelan was easy this time.
Haydn was like, mad-bombing. hahahaha !
Literally.

"Haydn was the keppellmeister of a prince"
I wrote haydn was the keppellmeister of a king.
"Haydn was free to go because after the prince died the twin prince didnt like music "
I wrote haydn was free to go because after the king died, the other king dont like music.

HAHAHAHAHA ! right.. i just promoted that prince (:
*smiles widely*
:D :D :D :D :D :D

Amaths was alright i guess.
Alrighty, gonnna work hard on paper 2!
dy/dx is nice , right ? |: hahahah , should be lah.
If not, just free labour that boonyong.
I think he's gonna laugh at me again =,=
Boonyong: B______ music right ? DIDNT COME OUT LAH ! :D hahah !

&shit shit shit, later got tuition. =,=
Rawrssssssss !

Javanese, Balinese, Javanese, Balinese, GuangDong, JiangNan,GuangDong, JiangNan, North Indian, South India, Romantic, Baroque , Romantic, Baroque, Classical, Haydn, Classical ,Haydn.
Oh, & kompang.

hahahahaha ! im still up, at this weirdddddd timing.
I havent finish much of music, die die die.
Isabel: if i can even get C, im thankful for everything man !

Alright, gonna go do amaths.
&i finished that practice exercise book ! hahahahaha !
Might be getting OPSS's one this time. ohwells !

I think im gonna fail a lot a lot of subjects ):

Man, this is bad. realised everything's tight now.
i meant schedules for revision.
Geog and physics tomorrow.
Music and amaths on thursday.
Amaths on friday. {THANKGOD!}

Yeah, TGIF! Thank-God-Its-Friday ! :D :D :D
I cant cant cant cant wait for friday to come !
now what i really wanna do/ tempted to do: Do amaths and physics.
this is bad O:

okayyyyyyy, aim for a B3.
I think, i really needa look into all my subjects and start considering which one to focus more.
Man..

&Yes E, 4-5hours of sleep (: hhahaha!
Go go go, 4more days!
okay, im so motivated now, all thanks to salmon !!! :D
&I think, dad's gonna treat me gelare tonight.
:D :D :D :D :D
hahahaahahaha!

"If im so afraid of losing, then what's the point of keeping when it's not yours to keep?"
yeah, somethings arent mine to keep.

I love today(:
It's been quite some time since i felt this way.

Today= crappiest day ever {So far}
&We've all learnt our lesson right ? :D
Chemistry is goneshit. doomed \:

&Im gonna make plans on the 19th(:
E: i finally understood what you were trying to tell me that time. &Im running back((:
Thanks a million !

Alrighty, gonna go study .
I think chemistry will be bad this time )))))))):